Plot Twist!
by ninja-of-volturi
Summary: When 'God' emails me regarding Misha Collin's death, everything changes, and let me clarify that literally everything changes; Reality, my life, the Supernatural plot, yeah, thanks a lot Balthazar. (Inspired by The French Mistake, Season six Episode 15) (Also, Eventual OCXLUCIFER, slow build up)
1. Emailed by God

"Misha Collin's is dead!"

Let me paint the lovely picture of me for you. My name is Lynne Carter, a 25 year old women who stands at the astonishing height of 5,2. I am very undecisive due to the fact that my plain brown hair constantly stays shoulder length due to me wanting to cut it all off then grow it out again, I usually just thrown it in a mini poytail. Even though I need them, you will rarely see glasses framing my blue eyes because of some superficial complex I got back in middle school, but I always keep them handy for driving and other emergency's, yeah, Im too chickenshit to get contacts.

Currently, I am studying to complete my ESL certificate while working forty hour work weeks at McDonalds to pay for food, rent and pot. My roommate is an irrelevant bitch who never pays her share of the rent on time. More about me, I'm a vegetarian, not a healthy one however, I still eat cheese, and eggs, and I still drink milk. Mainly my diet consists of cake, candy, chocolate and anything sweet with the occasional salad and such. There isn't really a reason why I became a vegitarian, just a random choice, really.

Wait, I have a story to tell, don't I?

"Whoa, slow down Amanda, _What_?" propping myself up more comfortably in my bed, I shifted my phone in one hand and moved my alarm to face me with the other. The harsh red glare reflected 3:46 AM. I just got out of work five hours ago. Thank god I had a day off today.

"Misha's been murdered! Tumblr exploded! Supernatural's gonna get canceled! Game over!" She almost cried through the phone, her voice was sharp compared to the silence of my dark room. I flipped on a light and headed towards my laptop on my desk.

"How?" I asked. I can't believe this. Supernatural, one of my favorite T.V show's lost it's Castiel? Hell, it is probably going to get canceled.

"The News says it was a mugging that turned violent, someone broke into his car, and, well you know, ended up slitting his throat in an alleyway."

"Ew..." I logged onto tumbler and my jaw dropped.

_Oh my poor, poor fandom._

My dash was flooded with Misha's RIP pictures and we'll miss you gifs. There were even a few crazy rants on how it was not an ordinary stabbing, like some actual demon did it. "Holy crap." I muttered.

"Right?" Amanda was more into supernatural then me. Well, to an extent, We both love the show but she's a little bit over the top, she met the actors at a con' a few months back, has tons of posters, T-shirts and jewelry merchandise, she even has the official Bobby Singer's guide to hunting book that she has yet to let me borrow.

"This really sucks, I mean his poor family."

"Oh man, don't start! I've already been crying for twenty minutes." She sniffled. "As much as it sucks, I need to get to bed, big meet tomorrow." She meant her college track meet.

"Alright, night girl."

"I'll call you around five? Tomorrow night okay?" I answered her clarifying that I will be sure to answer the phone. She hung up and I sighed contemplating the idiocy of people. What the hell compels somebody to murder another person? I mean, the money problem, I get that, more than I should but still, I don't think I could ever threaten somebody let alone kill anyone. Don't get me wrong, I've had quite a few fights but never anything serious, you know? Thinking about it, and shallow as it may sound, the only reason why im so upset is because my show is going to get canceled. Maybe if im lucky, they'll write a book or something.

I guess that's life, celebrity or not, tragedy's happen and we can only hope the police catch up with the idiot who killed him. I have my own life, and im not spending it being depressed by stuff like this. Supernatural is too popular to just cancel, the producer's will figure something out. I was just about to turn my laptop off when a light airy "ding" sounded from it, signaling I had mail. Opening my E-mail page, I indeed have one new message labeled _"untitled". From: God._ Clicking on it, I was met with a lovely little message.

_Lynne Paige Carter,_

_I cannot stress the importance that you download these two items onto a hard drive. I also cannot stress the amount of danger you are in. I will not go into further detail for the internet is not the safest place to have this discussion, however, I will say this._

_"Fix it."_

Huh, creepy.

I almost immediately knew where the email came from. A couple weeks ago, I was on a survey spree trying to get a bunch of free samples in the mail. I threw my email everywhere as well as my home address, and ever since all I've gotten is junk mail, spam and a virus on my computer. However, this one sounds vaguely threatening, and even though all junk mail is threatening, this one has a certain ring to it. I opened the first document.

My screen went black for a moment and I mentally kicked myself for being such an idiot. I really don't need another virus on my computer, im still getting pop-ups from the last one. Next thing I know, the logo from season six of Supernatural flashes on my screen and breaks the deafening silence. I real back completely shocked. I scrambled to shut it off, but there was no minimize button and my laptop decided to be a bitch and not turn off no matter how many times I pressed the stupid button. I settled for turning down the volume before I woke up my roommate in the next room.

My eyebrows met in the middle as I realized somebody I know must have sent me this. A junk mail agency, or whatever you call it, would gain nothing from sending somebody a random Supernatural episode. Now I just need to figure out who it was. My choices were pretty limited due to the fact that most of my friends are pretty normal. Logically, it's either a tumblr friend or Amanda, but I just finished talking to her on the phone, so Amanda's out. Tumblr friend it is.

I soon realized that I did not recognize this episode, I mean I should have. It's season six, the one with Eve and trying to find purgatory, I know all my seasons fairly well. But this episode struck me. Balthazar, who was dead, showed up at Bobby's house to confront the Winchesters. He was running about, frantically searching for items that I concluded had to make a spell. I smiled as he said something snarky to Dean. He spoke about Raphael coming after him, he gave Sam a key before an angel appeared in the room, looking pissed. Balthazr next pushed them through some kind of portal he created through the spell. Sam and Dean looked frantic for a moment as they realized they wern't in bobby's house anymore. They were on a set. The set. The Supernatural set. Is this a deleted, or lost episode?!

Oh, I like this Tumblr friend.

What shocked me the most was how the actor who played the director was _actually_ the director. He did signings at the Con' me and Amanda went to. Wow, I guess they really wanted to be authentic. I decided to watch it further. Again, I had no work today, so i have plenty of time to sleep later. Going further into the episode, I realized it was about how Dean and Sam came into this reality, where they were Jensen and Jared. They looked so cute, all confused and such as they realized Sam was married to 'Ruby', The Impala was a fake and Castiel was actually Misha Collins. Although I couldn't help but feel a bit creeped out. Who the hell sent me this? Is it even a coincidence that Misha died just a few hours ago? What am I thinking, of course it doesn't. Sometimes, I think of the stupidest things that make absolutely no sense.

They were running from Raphael's assassin, Virgil, who managed to steal the key from Sam. Next, was a bit shocking. Misha was tweeting about how he was feeling paranoid, then he was grabbed from behind by Vrigil, knife to his throat. I shifted. I did not like this at all, I mean, I can take character death, and I was never really one to freak out about something like this but, are we for real? He just died, not even five hours ago. Misha was told to drive.

Next was, too much. Virgil made Misha get out of the car, and into an alley. The real Misha got killed in an Alley. Virgil then went on to talk about how horrible this reality is, how theres no after life here, no demons, no heaven. He was thrown against the wall.

**"No power. No magic."**

**"I-Im not following you at all-"**

**"Theres no magic in your universe."**

**"Im Sorry! I- Please!"**

**"Nothing but a bag of strings and pullys" **

**"What?-"**

**"You should thank me for what im about to do."**

**"Why, what are you about to do?"**

**"I need to make an important call. I pray to god that it even goes through."**

**"AH-"**

No. Fucking. Way.

Suddenly I feel very paranoid. Like when you watch a horror movie all by yourself in the dark. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up uncomfortably as the screen froze for a few moments on Misha's slit throat, pained face, look of terror. A horrible static came through the speakers, I sat there at a lost at what to do. The static changed to a station.

**"Yep, one eighty seven, headed up to the drive now."**

**"Just got the call, requesting back up." **

Some more static.

**"This just in, the actor Misha Collins, best known for his role in the Hit T.V. show Supernatural, has been murdered. A witness found him in an alleyway and claimed he saw the attacker hold a knife to his throat, and ended the poor mans life."**

The static faded, and the picture pixalated into a different screen, going back to the normal episode. Sam and Dean were at the crime scene. I watched the rest through a sort of Haze, so many questions were running through my head. Sam and Dean, caught up to Virgil, took the key back, and reversed crashed into a window landing back into their reality. Raphael was there waiting for them. Balthazar appeared and claimed the key was a fake, to distract him from the real exchange of the angelic weapons. As Raphael was about to kill Balthazar, Castiel, not Misha, appeared claiming he had the weapons. Raphael fled. Everyone wins, the shows over leaving Sam and Dean pissed as hell and me wondering what the actual fuck am I doing with Misha's Murder on Video Tape.

_God emailed me Misha's death, on video tape. _


	2. My Rommate

Now, Im not the sanest person you will ever meet.

Hell, I cant even tell you how many times I was thoroughly convinced my apartment was haunted, or my boss was a legitimate demon.

But something like this, its not even funny.

I get a mysterious Email with two attachments, from somebody claiming to be god, one of the attachments being a Supernatural episode back from season six, with Misha Collin's murder in it. I mean come on! There has to be something rational in all this. I debate on calling Amanda,with her being the self proclaimed Supernatural know-it-all, she's bound to shed some light on all this. However, she's probably fast asleep, and she needs to get up early tomorrow for her meet anyways.

Part of me wants to believe that this _is_ an actual forgotten or lost episode back from season six, but that wouldn't explain the sudden freeze-close up of Misha's face and all the police reports and the news broadcasting audio. that would make no sense if it was just an ordinary episode. I need to face it, theres just too many coincidences here. This leads me to three conclusions;

The first one being somebody, who is extremely gifted in photoshop and video editing ,created this faulty episode as some kind of sick joke or tribute to Misha Collins. There are some crazy fans out there, so anything is possible.

The second being I am actually in danger and this really all just happened, and if this is the case, im suddenly very thankful for the generic anti-possession tattoo Amanda convinced me to get with her in support of our Fandom.

And thirdly, im on a really bad acid trip.

They third sounded more likely. Even if this 'God' character is telling the truth, that means I get to ask the ridiculously cliche question of "Why me?" After sitting there, eyes wide, heart pounding with my email opened. I decided enough was enough and If I wanted to figure this out, I would have to open the next attachment. The first document was highlighted signaling that i'e already opened it, so I opened the second, un-highlighted one.

I didn't really know what to expect I guess. By the way my body was reacting, one would think it was a jump scare video. To my surprise, and to my nerves delight, a page of random symbols appeared on the screen. Scrolling down, there were more, about a page and a half full of useless bull, but staring harder, it was almost like it all made sense, in a weird kind of way.

It was something about reassurance. Like I wasn't crazy, but the rest gave me a horrible head ache. It told me about something like the butterfly effect, but with different reality's. It was rushed however, and said Balthazar was never supposed to send Dean and Sam into this Reality, because now, it caused their reality to shift and their definite destiny's are now undetermined, and I need to do something about it.

Wait.

What the actual fuck is this and how the hell can I read it?!

Is this a tablet?!

Who the hell sends somebody the god of word via email?!

"Alright." I said aloud. I quickly turned my laptop off and sat there for a moment longer. What a weird night, er, morning. I need to sleep, and once I wake up, everything will make sense, and if not, I'll call Amanda and let her obsess about it. I got up, crawled into my bed, kept the lights on because, well, lets be realistic here, no way in hell am I gonna sleep in the dark tonight, and, to my surprise, fell fast asleep.

When I woke up, it was around 12:30. I quickly remembered the events of last night and smiled on how ridiculous I was being. It was daytime now, no more scary night monsters, they can't come out in daylight. getting out of bed, I was in an unnaturally good mood. It was my day off, I was going to be productive, like go out in search for a new roommate, because Riley was getting too much to handle, or study for my ESL certificate. I got changed into a faded grey tanktop, dark blue skinny jeans and a dark green, over sized hoodie I stole from my roommates ex boyfriend. Hey, who am I to deny free clothes?

I padded into the small kitchen and found my shoes underneath the sink, we have such limited space that we have to improvise. Throwing on my shoes, i decided to grab some blueberry muffins that my roommate bought yesterday. No doubt she was still sleeping, and six came in the package, she won't miss one and if she does realize it, she'll probably just assume it was her when she had the munchies or something. I stuffed half of it into my mouth, turned around to grab my purse and froze.

"Good Morning Lynne." Theres my roommate, the one I hate. The crazy bitch who never pays her rent on time, brings a new guy home every otjher night and bleaches her hair religiously. I quickly swallowed.

"Oh, ha ha. Sorry. They were on the counter."

"The muffins? Don't worry about it." She smiled. "So, where are you headed off to?" What the hell is this?

"Uh, probably the library." I answered, now freely taking another bite. "Hey, are you okay?"

"Me? Of course I am, why?" I laughed.

"I don't know, your usually never this nice, are you possessed or something?" I joked, nearly choking when her eyes turned black.

"Oh," she fussed "What gave it away?"

"What the hell?" I reeled back, not sure if I can trust my own eyes. Maybe I am on an acid trip, and im just hallucinating this entire morning.

"What the hell, she says." She- no it laughed. "Honey, if only you knew." Her eyes changed back to that of my roommates, however, it didn't diminish the alarm bells in my head at all. I backed up toward the door.

"Riley, if your fucking messing with me-"

"Oh Riley isn't here sweetheart, It's just you and me." She advanced further. You know the flight or fight situation, well, you see, I have a system.

"Fucking Nope!" I screamed as I sprinted out the door and down the street. It was borad daylight, and here I was running like a crazed maniac. Looking back I regretted realizing that Riley-demon was hot on my heels. Is this for real? Like are we kidding?! Hopping over a few fences into neighboring yards, I realized that she wasn't going to let up on running, so I was going to have to lose her. A few people behind us shouted something. Probably alarmed at our heated chase.

Im so happy Amanda makes me run with her.

I ducked into a small construction sight. I can't remember what they were building, probably something insignificant like office buildings or whatever. I guess they have off on the weekends because it was totally abandoned. I ducked underneath a truck fulled with debris. Hands to my mouth I tried to stop my breathing from sounding so loud while I faintly mused over the fact that I brought the half eaten muffin along for the run. Maybe I'll eat it later.

"You can't hide from me you little bitch. I know your here." I could see the bottom of her sneakers, walking away from me. If I stay here, she's likely to find me, if I run, she'll get me for sure. this is a flight or fight situation, and im too tired to run anymore.

As if somebody up there sighed 'give the poor girl a chance' I quickly noticed a rather sharp looking piece of metal to my left, grabbing it, I stood up.

"Hey!" I shouted. She turned around, smiling at me.

"There you are," She cooed walking towards me. The make shift blade felt awkward in my hand. "Don't worry, I won't kill you however, my boss- well, I cant speak for him."

"Your boss?"

"Crowley" She smiled. This is insane.

"Alright listen up. I don't really give a shit about this entire little crack pot bullshit, but if you wanna involve me in it, then im swinging." Thought I'd give her a fair warning. Also, I really didn't want to do this. "I mean it Riley, last chance to stop playing this joke." She laughed and advance towards me untill she was less than a foot away. Bursting with sudden adrenaline, I swung, squeezing my eyes shut.

"Are you serious right now?" She said. I opened my eyes noticing that she caught the metal blade with one hand. Y_ep, definitely not my roommate_. "How pathetic." dropping the blade, I tried to run again but I was quickly grabbed by the shoulder. Panic shot through me.

"Let me go you crazy bitch!" I fought her with every bit of my strength, panic increasing ten fold. C'mon Lynne, Think! You watched all the Supernatural episodes yet you can't even handle one little demon? I got a glimmer of hope when I remembered the exorcism, but I only know the first two phrases and I doubt that would do much.

Then I saw it. twenty bags or so, of rock salt, over near the entrance.

I love construction sights.

Ignoring all my instincts, I forced myself relax, playing defeat. She tugged me along, back to the way we came in. Using all my strength, I caught her off guard and grabbed a bag. They were really freaken' heavy, each weighing a good twenty five pounds, but I managed. As she was running towards me, muttering something about my stupidity, I ripped open the bag and threw it at her. it didn't really have the affect that I wanted. Half of it stayed in the bag and half of it fell onto her but she screamed and went down nonetheless. I took the opening and, hauled ass for a good twenty minutes to Amanda's house. All the way, looking like a crazed lunatic.

I used the key underneath the welcome mat and let myself into her house. It was empty and I knew she wouldn't be home for a good two hours. Plenty of time to demon proof the house.

After salting all the windows and doors, and googling how to make a devils trap (and after many failures to create one with duct tape.) I finally felt at peace enough to let my mind register everything that happened within the last eight hours. Maybe the demon was just a crazy supernatural fan? Absolutely not, nobody has that kind of strength and I never heard of somebody being severely allergic to salt. That was a demon.

I used the internet again to search Supernatural and i wasn't even surprised to see that the T.V. show is non exsistant. When I searched 'Supernatural fandom' all that came up was a few sights about Chucks book series. I almost wanted to cry. Im in the Supernatural world. Maybe the Supernatural reality was a better term.

There is no way in hell I can survive a season of this bullshit.

I racked my brain for everything I knew about that supernatural. Salt and holy water can hurt demons, as well as silver-no, iron? Moving on. Devil traps can trap them, but the only symbol I know how to make by heart is the angel banishing sigil, and that is a whole different ball game. Theres always an exorcism, but again, I only know the first two verses. Also, where the hell can I get holy water?!

"Whoa!" I jumped, but recognized the voice. "The fuck?"

"Amanda!" I called from the other room. I was met with furrowed eyebrows and a skeptical look. "Good, you got passed the salt, your not a demon."

"Uh, yeah Lynne, did you make a satanic symbol on my floor using duct tape?" She asked, still looking pretty shocked. My eyebrows met in the middle.

"No, a devils trap. You know, to trap demons?" Amanda laughed.

"Your playing a prank on me." She smiled. "look, im sorry about your microwave, and hey, I replaced it last week."

"No! This isn't about my microwave!" cringing as I remembered the battery/nuclear fiasco. "Its about supernatural!"

"Uh, the supernatural? Like ghosts?"

"What? No! The T.V. show! Come on, keep up with me!" I snapped, sick of her playing dumb. Not knowing what a devils trap is? please! She could practically make one with her eyes closed.

"Lynne, I don't know that show?" She laughed nervously. "But seriously, whats up?" I was shocked. No, this is not happening.

"Amanda." I whined, desperate she could understand where I am coming from. "Supernatural! Dean, Sam, Cas, everything!"

"Sorry, I never seen it." She took off her jacket, hung it up in her closet, like everything was fine. "Is it any good?"

"Damnit! We got these together last year! You practically made me!" I pulled the collar of my shirt down, revealing the anti possession tattoo that rested right above my right breast.

"Holy shit!" She inhaled sharply. "Lynne, is that real?"

"You have one too!" I took hold of her collar and pulled it down a bit, only to see the unblemished, perfect shade of olive tone.

This isn't Amanda, is it?


	3. Acid Trip

Fuckin' nope.

"Who the fuck are you?" I was on full demon alert. What if my traps didn't work? well duh lynne, nothing works like it does in the movies. Im such a freaken idiot! "Look, just leave me alone. I don't want any part in this bullshit." The Amanda demon looked worried.

"Lynne, its just me." She held out her hands as if surrendering. "Do I need to call someone?" As if she just slapped me, I realized how irrational I was being. Of course this was Amanda, and even if it was a demon, wouldn't she have made an attack by now instead of offering to call the professionals to lock me up? I slid down the wall and onto the floor, the events of today finally taking affect. Wow was I exhausted.

"Uh," I laughed at my irrationality. "No, I just.. smoked something weird I guess." Which wasn't all that unbelievable. Although I wasn't a druggie, I have been known to experiment, however, my usage has heavily decreased since high-school. "Makes me super paranoid, y'know?" She glanced around at the salt and other various traps I set. She raised a brow.

"Right, you need a place to crash then? I doubt your roommate would like it much if you tried sacrificing an animal or something to please a higher power." I flinched at the mention of my roommate.

"Yeah, thanks."

Its not like I could tell her about my day, I mean who the hell would believe me? 'Oh yeah, and also remember that T.V show you used to be obsessed about? Haha! of course you don't, well anyways Crowley's demons are after me for some unknown reason so lets hurry the fuck up and call the Winchester's okay?' That wouldn't sit well with anyone. Then it dawned on me.

The Winchesters!

Where there's demons, there's bound to be a Sam or Dean! This might not suck too much at all. With their help, maybe I can even get home. I mean home-home, with my normal demonic roommate and my supernatural obsessed best friend. But there's a tiny problem with that. Where the hell can I find them? I don't think that there's a magical Winchester hotline, and seeing as how they do most of their work in the southern parts of the country, living in New England doesn't seem to favor my chances. Well hey, technically im a case, im sure they'll get involved sooner or later.

Or y'know, I could always burn down a church or something and lure them up here.

"Yeah, you hungry? I'll order pizza, no Chinese. Yes definitely Chinese." She said as she walked over to a stack of papers bound the have a menu for some kind of take out.

"Sure, okay." getting up from the floor I hopped on the couch trying not to think of all the horrible gruesome things that keep coming into my mind. Demons could attack at any moment. I need to get away from Amanda, keep her safe. But she could also be a demon, but then wh-

"Lynne?" I snapped my head up, adreniline screaming the fight or flight drill all over again. Amanda was looking at me with eyes full of concern, menu for Chinese in one hand, phone in the other. "You sure your alright?"

"No, actually." I needed to come clean. "Im in a sort of situation, a really fuckin' bad one." My voice was shaky. She put down the phone and menu giving me an exasperated look.

"Look, if you owe that creep Andrew a favor again, count me out of it." She snapped

"What? No! And that was a year ago, How many times do I have to apologize?!"

"Lynne, we got arrested, I went to jail!"

"Nah Amanda, that was holding, jail is a whole different ball game." I laughed, already feeling better. Amanda has that effect on people.

"But really though, what did you do now?" She asked sitting down next to me.

"Okay, so some people are after me." I decided against telling her the whole truth.

"Who?"

"Just some wannabe thugs that's all." I shuffled through my ideas to make the story up, I always have been a horrible liar. "Anyways, they found ourt where I live, a few of them tried me, but I got away."

"And you came here?"

"Uh, yeah. If anything weird happens we can always just call the cops." I assured her, knowing full well that cops will only make things worse. "But im pretty sure they lost me on my way here."

"Lynne, you so full of shit."

"So sorry?"

"There's literally salt everywhere and a pentagram on my floor."

"Haha, funny story-"

"Shut your face unless its the truth." I swallowed, suddenly nervous.

"There's no way your gonna believe me." I sighed, frustrated. "But Demons are uh, after me." I laughed a little at the end, realizing how stupid it sounded. Amanda gave me the 'are you fucking serious' look but said nothing. "And I don't really know why, but thing are all," I stopped, struggling for a word. "Really messy right now."

"Demons?" She asked. "As in the devil?"

"Well, no... as in the devils kids?" I tried. It was an easy yet rough summerization.

"Right." She sighed. "So your definitely on some type of acid trip." she got up and headed back to the phone. I sighed in releif. "Your welcome to stay as long as you don't microwave my cat or something." Score.

She ordered us Chinese and we ate like there was no tomorrow. She was starving from exerting herself at the meet, I was starving because of today's events. Who knew greasy Americanized Asian heart attacks could cure your nerves? Anyways, once I was calmed down, Amanda took it as I was coming out of my trip. She offered the couch but I told her that there was literally no way i was going to bed just yet, she then decided to make me feel guilty by stating that If I didn't go to sleep then she wouldn't. So that's how we ended up sitting at the kitchen table, 10:30 at night playing Jenga.

"Your so bad at this." She smirked, gracefully sliding one of the middle pieces out of the structure. My eyes narrowed in concentration.

"Shut your whore mouth." I narrowly avoided destruction trying to get one of the upper pieces.

"So your fine now, right?" She asked. I rolled my shoulders back.

"Yeah, Coleman just probably spiked my normal, I'll get back at him." I decided to milk this drug thing for all its worth.

"Got ya, Ha! That was close."

"Your so freak'en loud, that's why im losing." I snapped, which was probably true.

I am not, you just sooOAAAH!" She screamed suddenly, causing the stupid Jenga tower to crash, peices flew all over the table.

"Haha! Victory is mine bitch!"

"Oh, Jenga was it?" A dark englishy voice said from in back of me. "If I knew that was the game, I would've worn a better suit."

Enter stage Crowley.


	4. Rude Awakening

Have you ever heard the term 'paralyzed with fear? Well thats kinda how it went down, but I like to think of it as temporary disconnection from the brain to the body. In other words, in the split second after Amanda's shrill scream and the iconic english accent of the mysterious voice behind me, a million thoughts ran ran through my head ranging from 'Holy shit, Mark Sheppard!",to 'Maybe if I ignore him, he'll leave me alone' and 'I hope Amanda doesn't expect me to help her pick up all these blocks'

Luckily, Amanda recovered faster than me.

"HOW THE FUCK," She whipped a couple blocks behind me. "WHO-" Threw some more. "LYNNE GET THE FUCK UP AND HELP ME" There goes her shoe. I manned up and looked behind me.

Holy shit was this guy intimidating. I've seen Mark before at a con, but he wasn't in character. Hell, I didn't even think he was that intimidating as Crowley. Ever since the human blood episode, I kinda just headcannoned him in my head as an overly emotional guy with an inferiority complex. But right now, I could never been more arrogant. He looked down at me with an amused expression, but there was no friendliness to it. It was like looking into the eyes of a wild animal right before it decided to attack. My blood ran cold and a nervous smile etched into my face.

"I don't suppose you could come back later when i'm more prepared?" And out of the country, I added in my head. Mark Sheppard/poor unfortunate possessed guy/Crowley faked a mildly shocked expression.

"Well it looks like your very prepared to me, seeing as how you seem to have an Idea of who I am, and what I want." I blinked.

"Who are you?" Play dumb Lynne, like that always helps. Well, was genuinely dumb about one thing; I don't know what the fuck he wants from me. He gave me a warning look and next thing I hear is another shrill scream from Amanda then a loud crash and she's on the other side of the room completely out for the count.

"Ring any bells darling?" He asked in his calm velvety english accent that I know suddenly hate with a hot fiery passion.

"Amanda!" I shouted moving to run over to my unconscious friend only to be stopped by a hand having an iron grip to my upper arm. I reeled back and kicked him as hard as I could at the shin, didn't even flinch. Next I aimed for his head as I used my free arm to punch him only to hear cracking of my own hand and hot pain shooting up my arm. I ignored this, pissed at the inability to protect Amanda, and myself. "You fucking douchebag, I'll kill you!"

"Lets not be so dramatic, she will be fine as long as you come with me and stop trying to maim yourself. I bit him through his expensive fuckin suit jacket. 'Oi! Don't you understand english!?" I tasted blood but I doubt I was hurting him much, this thought pissed me off further and I tried to claw his eyes out.

"You know what? I really hate being disobeyed." He jerked my head up harshly from his arm and made me face Amanda, right before I saw her neck snap at an odd angle.

I couldn't understand anything past my screams.

##############################################################################

One thing that I never understood from movies was bad guys and interrogations.

Like, okay you got me, you went through all this trouble to catch me and tie me down onto a chair, and lock me in a cold dark basement type room, hell you even went through the trouble of adding a few rotting corpses and blood stains, but where the fuck are you? I mean, do you really have to leave me alone for a couple hours? What the hell are you even doing anyways? Preparing a speech? Putting in a tampon?

So here I was, freezing cold, with probably a couple broken fingers from when I punched a bitch, and pissed as hell. It was one of those "Why me?" moments. I don't understand why i'm the one who has to travel to a different goddamn dimension where demons have some sort of obsession for me and my best friend has to die because I was too prideful to accept defeat.

Sharp, metallic clicking sounded throughout the recently quiet room as the upstairs door unlocked itself and opened. There was a moment of uncertainty as I wished for it to be the police or someone with a blanket before cold dread enveloped me as Crowley became visible.

"Calmed down now are we?"He asked smugly. I stared back at him. "Good. Lets set something straight about your friend, you really left me with no you had been more open minded, she probably would be waking up by now, maybe even calling the police to try to find you." I switched to darkly glaring. "But no, she's dead, no one is coming to save you and likely, nobody really even cares." I tried to kill him with my mind. "Anyways, the past is in the past love, we now have a completely clean slate."

"Whats that?" He raised a brow.

"Whats what, love?"

"That, overthere." I nodded in the direction of a variety of sharp looking knives.

'The scalpels?" He asked.

"Good, you know the name. You should know whats going to kill you."

"Simple knives can't kill a demon."

"Ill fucking bless it."

"Thats not really-" He sighed. "Aren't you emotionally drained? Why can't you be cooperative?"

"Im pretty sure i'm being cooperative right now, seeing as how i'm strapped to a chair and helpless against the king of hell." He blinked.

"King of Hell?" he asked

"Oh, im sorry, are you not Crowley?" I asked snarkily.

"Do not be confused love, i'm the one and only, however hardly king of hell, try king of the crossroads." It was my turn to blink.

"Oh, wait _what_?" I asked. Was he messing with me? I tried to think of possible reasons why would lie to me, and came up with none. Its also extremely out of character for him to belittle himself.

"King of the Crossroads. Try not to tremble in fear." I rolled my eyes.

"What season is this?!" For the first time, Crowley looked genuinely confused. He eyed me like I might not be all the way here.

"Spring, A bit chilly for spring, but spring nonetheless."

"No, I mean," I thought of how to word it. "What year is it?"

"2009." He answered still giving me a strange look.I ignored him and counted the dates back in my head. Season one aired in '05...Oh no.

He must have recognized the look of fear and shock. "What is it?" I looked up at him.

"The Winchesters...This is the fifth season, Lucifer and the apocalypse-" I stopped myself before taking a deep breath.

"The fucking Iphone five hasn't even come out yet!"


	5. Blame Tumblr

As my mind realized that I am extremely far behind in the supernatural timezone and certain characters like Jo, Ellen and Bobby might still be alive, Crowley recovered from his 'Oh no this girl is a psychopath' phase.

"So it is true then" Crowley circled around my pitiful stance tied to the chair to get behind me, which caused me to instinctually tense up. I strained my head to look behind me and saw him walk towards a table and pick up the most beat up book I ever saw.

"What is?" I asked nervously. Did I say nervously? I meant suspiciously, yes, absolutely suspiciously, because i'm a badass and I don't get nervous.

"This." He walked over to my front so I could get a better look at the book. It sure as hell was old, but it still seemed pretty sturdy. The cover was made from some sort of faded leather and had the golden letters 'GASSAGEN'* elegantly placed in bold. There was no other words on the cover but there were few golden complex looking designs in the corners, upon further inpection, I realized that they might actually be symbols of some sort. Crowley held the book like it was some sort of trophy.

"You do realize that this means nothing to me, right?" I asked. As if he ignored me completely, he decided to start the famous evil villain speil of his evil villain plans, or at least, so I thought.

This," He started again. "It practically a field guide to angels and it predates the godforsaken bible. It probably even predates the fall of the morning star and the Creation of Hell, I bought it at an action about a hundred years ago, poor saps probably didn't even know what they had."

"Again, why does this concern me?"

"What did I say about being cooperative?"

"My sincere apologies" I bitterly spat out. He continued.

"It doesn't have anything useful though, nothing on more creative ways to kill angels, and its all in Enochian too, luckily, I know a lad who knew a whore who captured an angel to translate the entire book for me. And would you like to know what it's about?"

"Oh, im so excited. If i wasn't strapped down, I would practically bounce through the room." and out the door.

"No need to be sarcastic love. It's very unbecoming." I rolled my eyes. "This book is mainly about an angels 'Lemela's**, or 'Treasured one'. Basically, an angels mate, it also has a couple prophecies, such as`" He paused to flip to a specific page. "The woman who will break her protective planes of existence shall belong to Lucifer, and all will be well." He looked up at me to see my expression, but jokes on him, im so emotionally drained that I can't be anything but sarcastic at this moment in time.

"Bullshit." I exclaimed. "Lemme see."

"As you wish." He held up the book in front of me so i could see a weird looking alphabet with the neat, handwritten english translation under it, and lo and behold, there was the supposed prophecy.

"The angel who translated it probably was just messing with you." I dismissed it. Okay, okay, you know what stop it. Maybe I am a little internally terrified that there is a chance this might be legit, but like hell am I going to show it, get off my back.

"Don't get me wrong, I payed little to no mind at all to this part, but here you are."

"How the hell did you even find me anyways? How do you know I-" I squinted darkly at the words "Broke my protective planes of existence?"

"The internet."

"Excuse me?"

"Your fanfiction, you recently wrote about a 'DeanXCastiel fluff?" He asked me more than explained. I smirked.

"So you read it, does that mean you ship it?"

"I, I'm afraid you're going to have to clarify, love." I sighed.

"Nevermind, and also, dont fucking mess with me, I know there is an entire book series in this place about supernatural that has fans who would write worse stuff than me on fanfiction. You're going to have to be more specific."

"You got me love, I lied about this entire thing and you're like every other supernatural fan out there. In fact, you're free to go."

"Really?" I perked up.

"No!" He looked beyond done with me as he made his way up the stairs muttering something under his breath about 'bloody psychopath'. I waited patiently for him to return a few moments later with a laptop. He grumpily pulled up a chair with the laptop and started typing. I eyed him wearily. "You are Just-Archangel-Things on tumblr are you not?"

"Ooh~ Crowley gettin hip with Tumblr."

"Don't bother answering, it has your photograph as the icon. Anyways, look at all of these fantastic things you have on your blog." He turned the computer towards me and my tumblr blog came into view. The first post was a gif of Castiel being completely heartbroken and confused, you know normal Castiel stuff. The next couple of posts were about Gabriel and trickster tuesday. Oh, now I understand.

"Im a stalker," I tried to reason. "I like to take miniature videos of you people. It's what I do. What I live for."

"Nice try darling, but I think I'd remember being Sam Winchester's new experiment on Human blood." He scrolled down to a "I deserve to be loved" gif.

"You haven't even met the winchesters yet."

"Not in person, no. But I would be ignorant not to know who they are, with how they let the devil out of the pit."

"Touche. So whats your plan for me? Tell me all this because your a real swell guy and you want me to be informed of my current situation before you let me go into the brave new world that is supernatural?"

"Your adorable, but sadly for you, no. You see you're my survival chip."

"Man, I don't want you on my zombie apocalypse team." Yet again, he ignored me.

"It goes like this, me and you, we're gonna wait a while. See which team is winning, either Hell or Heaven. Either way, it means the end to us demons, so, in order to prolong my inevitable death, im going to give you to the winning team in exchange for my 'promised' survival."

"What does that mean for me?" I asked wearily. He shut the laptop and grabbed the book before making his way behind me again, probably to put the two items back on the table, the shuffling noise proved me right.

"Well, I can't say for sure, but something tells me that Zachariah and Michael will likely label you as an abomination and terminate you, and Lucifer," He let out a bitter laugh. "God only knows." He started up the stairs leaving me to return to my default glare and slight fearful realization that I might be down here awhile. "Feel free to make yourself at home darling." He shut the door leaving me in complete darkness.

##############################################################################

' Im Dying, Help!" I screamed out for the hundredth time that hour. It felt like i've been down here for eternities, when actuality, probably a couple weeks or so. On my first twenty four hours, a couple people came down- I mean demons, sorry, anyway, they untied me and in my multiple attempts to try to kill them, they managed to get away unscathed, mainly due to the fact that I was exhausted and my hand hurt like a bitch. Once they left I could fully see behind me and discovered a toilet, the table with the laptop and the ancient book thing, a lightswitch and, surprise! Another dead body, this one more matured than anything else.

The demon's come down every once and a while and bring me food, like a turkey sandwich and takeout, I hardly ever eat what they give me except for maybe the bread or vegetable. It seems that whenever I tell them im a vegetarian, they just kind of smirk and leave, like okay guys, let me die a horrible starvy death, explain that to Crowley.

Speaking of Crowley, I haven't seen him since the first day. I personally believe that he left me with two of his demons in the middle of a woods or something. Wherever he is, I hope he dies a horrible, violent death.

"Really! I cut myself on a nail! Im gonna bleed out!" I tried to sound as pathetic as possible, holding said nail tightly as I heard some shuffling from upstairs, I sighed in defeat as I realized nobody was coming. I put the nail back in my pocket and tried the laptop again. It was password protected and every three times i get it wrong, it shuts down for an hour. The only thing stopping me from breaking it is the fact that the illusion of possibly getting through and contacting somebody is too sweet.

Point is, im bored as hell. It kinda makes me wonder what Gadreel did all that time in angel prison, like did they give him any games?I would imagine millenniums being kinda hard to go through by yourself. Oh my god, my baby is still in angel prison! I keep forgetting its only season five.

After I get locked out of the laptop, _again_, I decide; 'why the fuck not' and start to read GASSAGEN, which according to text, means 'Angel'. I flip to a random page about how and angels 'treasured one' is able to see their true form. Boring. I skim through some more before I finally stumble upon something interesting.

"_A true treasured one should be able to summon their Angel_

_at their own will by using the following;' __**NOASMI OL OLPIRT GASSAGEN OD PLAPLI MAD LEMELAH'**__***"_

After two weeks of absolutely nothing to do? Fuck it. I smirked as a truly genius plan came to mind.

Hello! I would like to thank you for your patience and reviews, here are some enochian translations to help you with further understanding;

*Angel

*Treasure

*Come to light angel and take your treasure

Would you like to learn more enochian words?


	6. Mission Impossible

"Naosai ol olprit gassagen of plapli mad lemelah!" I screamed as I dove behind the overturned table. I was honestly expecting a bright beam of light, like the one when Sam and Dean first let Lucifer out of the pit. Maybe even a few blastwaves of radioactive energy. But alas, what awaited me was two, very unamused demons with a bowl of something. On the bright side, this proves me right about the fact that I am not a goddamn treasured one, on the depressing dark side, it means im not getting out of here anytime soon and I cut my hand for nothing.

"Here. Its soup. No meat."The taller, older guy offered. I got up from the floor and took the bowl.

"It has chicken broth in it." I whined. "Why can you just make me like a peanut butter sandwich?"

"Because we don't take orders from stinkin human trash." said the other one.

"Fair enough, but sooner or later im going to die from malnutrition and you kids are going to have to explain that to the big boss."

"It will be worth it." They were about to leave before I stopped them.

"But I really did cut myself," I held up my hand to show them the blood soaked wrapping I used from a shirt I found. "Its probably going to get infected soon." The shorter one was about to answer but his and the taller ones gaze soon shifted to the wall in back of me. My hair practically stood on end as I jumped away like i've been electrocuted.

"What is with you suddenly appearing behind me!" I practically screamed as I turned to face Crowley.

Except it was not Crowley. And my vision was suddenly swarmed with billions and billions of warm-glowing white feathers.

"Who the fuck are you?" The two demons scrambled down the stairs again as I slowly backed up to meet them. Despit the warm, comforting glow his wings were giving off, the already frigid room's temperature felt like it went down by ten degrees, and as if to add effect, the corners of the room seemed to get darker and more closed in. I took a seat on the steps.

"_I want you to take a moment and think, real hard about your question._" The taller one was on him in a flash and got him square in the jaw, except he didn't even flinch. He reeled back and looked at his suddenly twisted deformed hand.

"Agh" Cracks mixed with pops and wet noises filled the room before his screams blocked it out. The deformity in his hands twisted away up his arm and to his torso, I covered my ears and looked at the ground with a dazed, wide eyed a toddler being screamed at. Snap out of it Lynne, stick to the plan! I took off my makeshift bandage and began to draw.

"No, you can't be here!" The other one said in a shrilly, high pitched voice, he sounded on the verge of tears. "We weren't told-"

"_That you were holding my Lemelah against her will, and keeping her a secret from me? Come now, don't embarrass yourself, these are your last moments, afterall." _

"I-I, i'm so sorry my lord, please for-" An explosive wet noise filled the room and I looked up from my careful, subtle drawing and immediately regretted it. The entire room was coated in thick red paint. Yes paint, absolutely paint, with the occasional chunk of mystery meat. the only spots left untouched were where I was, the wings that practically spanned the lengh of the room and where _he _was. It was almost as if his wings didn't even exist when the blood coated everything. As if sensing my own acknowledgement, he turned fully to look at me.

You know that butterfly feeling you get when you're with someone you like~ Well this shit was like that ten times fold and the butterflies were like ice cold lead and they tried to eat away at my stomach lining. In other words, I was terrified, and it showed as pathetic little gasps kept slipping past my mouth. As if this fucker was completely oblivious to my terror, he started to make his way across the room towards me. I wanted to curl up into a protective ball but that would blow my cover. 'Wait for it, Lynne, you can do this.'

"You are right." His voice was soft yet I still flinched as he placed a hand over my injured one, the one covering my escape. "This will get infected soon If not treated." a soft white glow, a bit brighter than his feathers, enveloped my hand sending pleasurable relief. For the first time, I switched my gaze to his, more painful butterflies entered my stomach as I took in his melting vessel.

"Y-your face is falling off." I informed him shakily.

"Yes, sadly my grace burns too hot for this vessel." The way he kept eye contact with me was unsettling so I involuntarily looked away. Alarm bells screamed through my head as his other hand caught my turned head and gently guided my gaze back to his. "You were right to summon me. However, you should have sooner." He kept his gaze on me as if he expected an answer of some sort.

"Uh, sorry." I offered.

"It is alright, your safe now."

"Not that, about this." I lifted my recently healed hand and exposed the angel banishing sigil I painfully created with my own blood. There was no scream from him, just a look of complete surprise before a bright light exploded throughout the room and then I was alone.

I just banished Lucifer to Heaven,

And then, I ran for my life.


	7. That Happened

**WARNING!**

**_Hey guys! This chapter contains sexual themes and suggestions of rape _****_I really don't want to accidentally trigger someone so If you're sensitive to that kind of thing, please skip to the next chapter and there will be a brief, non-graphic description of what occurred in this chapter. Also, please note that this fanfic is rated 'M' for a reason. Thank you._**

######################################################################################################

Running for your life is easier said than done,

I mean, considering the fact that I've been locked up for two weeks, haven't eaten a decent meal in that time and recovering from shock didn't really help much. Sure, adrenaline was a good ten minute starter but here I am, in the middle of the woods with no idea of where i'm going.

Fuck! And that banishing sigil isn't even permanent! I can't remember if its like a half an hour or more until it wears off, I am so screwed if he decides to come back after me, and I highly doubt i'll be able to fight him off. I took a moment to catch my breath and scream at the sky.

"CASTIEL, YOU SHOULD TOTALLY COME DOWN HERE AND HELP ME OUT. GIVE ME, LIKE ONE OF THOSE RIB TATTOOS, OR GABRIEL, MAYBE EVEN BALTHAZAR, CAN I GET A LITTLE DIVINE INTERVENTION DOWN HERE." I never really prayed before, but it didn't mean there is never a time to start. I waited a moment and nothing but asshole silence answered me. "WELL FUCK YOU TOO." I started running again.

I internally slapped myself when I finally remembered where the angel banishing sigil places them; Heaven. I can just imagine it, Michael and Zachariah are having a nice cup of tea while discussing battle plans for the apocalypse when suddenly:BAM! Lucifer! Even though I highly doubt thats what its like in heaven, I somehow can't shake the idea. I let out a bittersweet laugh.

Maybe this is actually good thing. I banished Lucifer to heaven,_ to fucking heaven!_ Where hundreds of Angel soldier guys are, including Michael. In other words, its one against too many. Maybe Michael would win and kill him, that would equal no fights for vessels, no soulless Sam and no trapped Adam. Yeah, this is headed in a good direction.

But on the other hand, if I really am Lucifer's, uh, Lemlala-? Whatever the fuck its called, and Michael and the god squad find out, im so friggin dead.

You know what? Screw it, im dead either way, just like Amanda.

At the my internal mention of Amanda, I felt an almost physical pain in my chest. Truth be told, I have been guiltily avoiding thinking about her. She was my best friend since fifth grade, I stuck up for her when she got bullied about a small, dark purple scar she had on her forehead from falling into a glass table when she was a baby and in return, she bailed me out of jail in my senior year when I got caught breaking and entering into the old preschool as a dare from a boy I used to work with because he claimed it was haunted.

Yeah, I know I can't pull that shit here because if I actually break into a supposedly 'haunted house' with my luck, it will actually be haunted this time.

I eventually slowed my sprint into a brisk walk, I have been free for almost a half an hour now but fatigue was slowly creeping in. It seems like these woods are endless, and its getting darker as the suns going down. What if im lost for weeks? I don't know how to survive in the woods. What about bears? Holy crap! If I don't die tonight by a pissed of archangel im gonna get fucking eaten by wolves. How do I make a fire to keep warm? What if it rains? What if-

I stopped dead in my tracks as I heard the familiar, civilized sound of a cars engine. Sighing at my stupidity, I turned to my left and followed the sound. Now, im not gonna lie, with the way these couple of weeks had been going, I half expected to see a chevy impala driving up the road, but to my pleasant relief, it was a nice dark blue, rusty looking pick up truck. I waved my arms like a lunatic.

The truck slowed to a stop and I ran to meet it. The driver was male, probably late fifty's and greying. He had a short beard and the kind of brown eyes that radiated happy thoughts. He looked a little surprised, but im guessing it was because there looked to be no houses for miles and here I was, alone and without a car.

"You alright?" He asked as soon as our eyes met.

"I don't know, are you a demon?" I asked. I was beyond the point caring if I sounded a bit crazy, I just didn't want to accept a ride from this guy only to find out he was a minion of Crowely and bring me right back to that stupid basement.

"Uh, not that I know of, do you need me to drive you somewhere?" Now he looked surprised and worried. I gave him a quick smile.

"Sorry, yeah, I would love a ride." I hopped into the passenger seat and quickly shut the door as if a demon was going to magically appear and yank the door open again. The stranger man started driving up the road.

"The names Mark." He said after awhile.

"Uh, Lynne." I greeted back, staring at the dash in front of me. It was cluttered with opened envelopes and catalogs that appeared to spill out onto the floor, needless to say, the truck was a mess and smelled heavily of cigarettes, but it was a nice, normal welcome.

"Well Lynne, am I driving you anywhere specific, like to a hospital or a police station.?" I could tell he noticed my bloodied appearance that I personally forgot about up until now. Yeah sure, when Lucifer exploded my demonic prison guards, he made sure to avoid getting me in the mess, but that didn't mean I didn't slip and fall in the bloody mess while running for my life.

"O-oh, don't worry, its not my blood." I quickly tried to reassure him. I blushed as I realized how sketchy that sounded. "I mean, it's just paint." Im a horrible liar and story teller, cut me some slack.

"You painting?" He asked as if he unconsciously knew how hard I was trying and decided give me a break.

"Yeah, my friends house, he lived down in the woods, but when we finished, he couldn't give me a ride home, and he doesn't have electricity so I couldn't call anyone to pick me up." My hands were all clammy and gross to to how intensely false this lie sounded.

"So you hitchhiked?" He asked.

"You gotta do what'chu gotta do, man." It was quiet again as we drove on for a few more minutes, leaving me to vaguely wonder again how long the banishing sigil lasted for.

"You know," Mark says after another minute. "I got a daughter around your age, she married her highschool sweetheart. They're living together now in Seattle and they're expectin' their first baby next month. If I ever found out she was takin' rides from strange men, I would make her come home and live upstairs in her room for the rest o' her life." I let out a short laugh.

"I doubt her husband would like that." I said, looking back outside the window.

"Well if he ever let that happen to my baby girl it would be the consequence he'd have to pay." He answered. "My wife still has some of her old clothes and they'd probably fit you, lets get you there then decide what you wanna do."

"Thank you so much." I silently added in my head 'please, please dont be a trap.' "Really, for everything" He hummed an acknowledgement and we drove on for another twenty minutes before entering a small town, the sign said "**WELCOME to PRESQUE ISLE, MAINE."** I sighed realizing that was like a seven and a half hour drive from my apartment. We were tantamount bordering Canada. We took a couple more exits before stopping in front of an old looking cabin.

"This is it." He said getting out of the car. "I hate to say it but the wife is workin' late at the diner tonight, so its just gonna be us two." I simply nodded my head and stepped out of the truck, hopping down onto the grass.

There was another house down the road, but from here I couldn't see it due to all the trees, in fact, the only reason why I knew it was there was because we drove past it. I felt a wave of thick anxiety from the familiar feeling of isolation but quickly shook it off due to the idea of unbloody clothes.

He walked up to the door and unlocked it, revealing a darkly lit, yet cozy home. He nodded to the staircase. "If you go up and take a right, It will take you to my daughters old room, theres some old clothes in the drawer." He told me before walking off into the direction of his kitchen. "Im going to start dinner."

"Okay, thanks." I said making my way upstairs. I found his daughters room and quickly located the mentioned drawer. Opening it up revealed an array of clean, yet strangely dusty clothing. I picked up a short sleeved plaid button up along with a dark pair of blue jeans. half way through changing, I let out a pained sigh at how my skin was coated in the dried blood, I really hope I don't get some sort of disease. I stuck out my head to look down the hall and smiled in victory as I found my target.

"Hey, Mark." I called down. "Do you mind if I use your shower?"

"Thats fine." He answered after a moment. "Towels are in there." Taking another quick look to make sure the coast was clear, I practically sprinted to the bathroom down the hall. Did I mention I was naked?

I started the shower and hopped in, gasping at the freezing cold water but quickly relaxing as it heated. I silently thanked Mark for even having hot water. He lived so far in the middle of nowhere i'm even surprised he has electricity.

It was strange, because I usually take really long showers with body wash, shampoo, conditioner and facial scrubs but the only kind of soap he head was some kind of gross dandruff shampoo. Deciding it was better than nothing, I practically bathed myself in it. I let myself get lost in my paranoid thought about Lucifer, angels and demons, I jumped when I heard a creaking noise, followed by the immediate feeling of me being watched.

I quickly covered my chest and cursed the fact that Mark had no shower curtain. I turned to look at the door but it remained shut. I shivered, rinsed off, and covered myself with one of the towels from the closet. It was rough, like he and his wife never heard of fabric softener.

I sighed at my snobbish antics associated with bathing and quickly summed up this whole experience as me being paranoid, I mean, its an old house, obviously its going to settle. I jumped again when I heard someone walking down the stairs. It was probably Mark, maybe he had to come up to get something. I really need a nap.

Exiting the bathroom, wrapped in the weirdly textured towel, I made my way back to Mark's daughters room before shutting the door. I quickly changed into the borrowed clothing, including bra and panties, I mean what's grosser, borrowed underwear or underwear you've worn for two weeks straight?.

Tying my short, wet hair into a baby pony tail, I reopened the door and climbed down the stairs. I was greeted to the warm, welcoming aroma of some type of food, and I was starving! I was quickly disappointed due to the fact Mark looked to be cooking some sort of sausage. Im really starting to rethink this vegetarian thing.

"Find everything okay?" He asks getting out a couple of plates before putting a few sausages on each one, then to my happy surprise, a big spoonful of mashed potatoes.

"Yep, your daughter fits me practically perfectly." I smiled at him. He seemed pleased with my response due to his little smirk. He put both plates down at the table and motioned for me to sit. I obliged and he followed.

"You have the prettiest eyes." He said suddenly. I looked up at him, mashed potatoes practically spilling out of my mouth. "just like my wife's." I quickly swallowed and coughed at my throats sudden intake of food.

"Thanks." I smiled. "Speaking of your wife, when will she be home?"

"Late. Probably really late. She works at a diner." He reiterated.

"Oh." I blinked at his vague answer. "Well, we should probably save her some dinner. She can have my sausages." I internally worshipped my improv.

"No need." He told me, stuffing another bite in his mouth. "She's perfectly capable of fixing her own dinner."

"Nonsense." I told him before getting up and putting my plate in his fridge. "After working late, she'll probably be exhausted." Woo! Go Lynne! He grumbled something under his breath. "Im sorry?" I turned around to face him.

"Oh, nothing. Look, it's getting real late, you're welcome to stay the night." He told me. My heart warmed at his kindness. I really did need a place to stay and I doubt he would like it if I told him I lived practically eight hours away. I mean, he's a nice guy, but not that nice.

I started to smile before I realized the situation I was in. Lucifer! Am I putting this guy in danger?! How could I do this to him? He has a family for christs sake! I won't let him die, not like Amanda.

"Sorry, I don't think thats a good Idea," I told him

"Why not?" He asked quickly, getting up from his chair.

"W-well, it's really a long story, and I don't want to put you in danger." I answered. "Look, if you can just drop me off in town, I can figure it out from there."

"No."

"No?" I asked angrily. "You don't understand-"

"No, You don't understand. I said you're not going anywhere." I jumped at the quick change of behavior.

"Why no-"

"Shut up!" I saw his hand reach out for me before I jerked away, survival instincts telling me to run like hell. I listened and sprinted towards the door, before roughly being lifted from behind. Damn, this guy was fit for a fifty-something year old.

"Let go!" I screamed fearing the worst of what's about to come. He slapped me hard.

"Shhh, Shhh, be quiet." He brought me down to the floor, pinning me underneath him, leaving me with no leverage to kick or punch. This can't be happening. I did not make it this far only to be raped. I would've rather Crowely kill me. This really, _really_ cant be happening.

"No, no, no, no, no." He ignored me as he reached down _there _and started rubbing through my jeans. A new wave of panic overtook me as I gripped the hand creating the unwanted friction. He roughly grabbed both my wrists and slammed them above my head painfully before burying his head in my neck.

"Just relax you little slut. Relax." He whispered harshly. "Relax, shhh. Just Relax". One of his hands grabbed my breast roughly, I sobbed. I have a horrible sense of character judgement.

"Your wife?!" I asked quickly in hopes that some sense will come to him. He pinched my nipple hard and I screamed in pain. The monster laughed.

"Dead for the past three years, daughter left me too, said I've been drinking too much." I sobbed again, he lied?! I trusted him!

"Please just stop!" I pleaded, tears freely falling from my eyes. "Don't"

"Be quiet, I can't enjoy this if you cry too much" He started to unbuckle his belt. I squeezed my eyes shut, not wanting to see it, as I heard the rustle of fabric and tried to wriggle free from him only to be slapped again. I started really fighting then, kicking, screaming, begging then resorting to biting. He slapped me a couple of more times before starting on my jean buttons. My heart was beating loud and quick from pure terror as I tried my hardest to push him off he with the little leverage I had. He responded by putting his entire weight on me.

Then nothing.

At first I thought he was trying to kill me, he was literally crushing me with his weight. I cried out and he responded by quickly lifting off of me, my eyes involuntarily flashed open at the new door to escape before quickly being shattered into an almost maddening despair as those brilliant feathers filled my blurry, tearful vision. I couldn't breath.

"No blood this time." I heard Lucifer's voice say. "Wasn't that what frightened you before?" I quickly shut my eyes again, hoping I would just pass out and die due to lack of oxygen.

"He's actually still alive too, but im afraid, immobile. Im going to have one of my loyalists skin him, make sure a good majority of his bones are crushed, not enough to kill him however, then finally, burn him to death. but don't worry, you won't have to hear or watch it."Footsteps were making their way towards me. I started to hyperventilate. If he's going to do that to some random guy that was trying to rape me, I can just imagine what sort of punishment he has for me.

"You must be exhausted, with all of the excitement you had today." Again with the 'talking to a toddler tone'. Almost as if in some sort of trance, I physically relaxed. This terrified me even more, thinking that Lucifer paralyzed me just like he did to Mark, however, this fear quickly faded into blackness and I couldn't even remember why I was crying in the first place. I felt a small suggestion whispering that I should fight back against this wave of peace, but it soon gave in.

And so began the best fourteen hours of sleep i've ever gotten.

.


	8. High Like a Kite

I really don't want to do anything today.

My bed is so warm and soft that being in it just makes me feel totally at peace. Sunlight just barely hits my eyes but instead of it being a harsh glare, its just a lovely glow. My entire body practically vibrates from how comfortable it is. I feel like every couple of hours, I wake up, but i'm just so comfortable that I don't even want to move so I fall back asleep. My grade will survive if I stay home from Uni just for today.

Finally, maybe the fourth time I awaken, I start to get a slight headache. Amanda used to tell me it was from sleeping too much and your body was dehydrating. Figuring I would get up, drink some water, then go back to bed, I opened my eyes and stretched my arms along my bed, upwards.

I was immediately greeted with heavy disorientation. When my eyes opened, I was not in my room, I was in somebody elses house. Sunlight was not hitting my eyes, but in fact it was a dim lamp in the corner of the room. Not to mention the fact that I only had vision in one eye because the other side of my face was flush against the bed. When I stretched, I was actually fighting gravity so my arms quickly fell back down onto the beds shoulders.

Upon further realization, I realized I was very comfortably propped up in someones lap, and remembering yesterdays events, I had a pretty educated guess on who it was. I lifted my chin to look up at him, suddenly very aware at how calming his hand stroking my hair was.

"Good morning, Lynne." I didn't answer, not because I felt the need to be rebellious and not giving him the pleasure of me responding to him, but from the sheer laziness spell that I was in, I stared at his massive wings for awhile, almost entranced by them and their strange radiant characteristics. I fought to resist nuzzling into his shoulder.

The fuck?

I figured he was doing some kind of satanic bullshit to keep me from not having a panic attack, which I actually highly appreciate. However, it was even more disorienting when I remembered all that occurred yesterday but I couldn't connect at all to it. It was like I read what happened to me in a book, and it didn't actually happen. But that didn't explain why im not terrified as shit, because I know full well that this motherfucker can easily snap me in half like a Popsicle stick, and after the events of yesterday, I can't think of a single reason why he wouldn't.

I mean, I get it, im his Lemellaada or something, but my friend from middle school's mom is in jail for attempting to murder her husband when he forgot to pick up my friends little sister from dance practice. If being his 'treasured one' means im anything like Lucifer's wife (which is totally not true, even in my state of high) im sure there are limits to how nice he can be. He is fucking Satan after all.

But right now, he really doesn't feel like Satan.

"Your warm," I said after a moment. "You're not supposed to be warm."

"And why is that?" He asked.

"Yesterday, you were freezing, you made the entire room cold." And you know, your the devil.

"Well, it is true, I do burn quite cold, however I assumed you wouldn't appreciate it if you awoken chilled." I accepted his answer and laid quiet for another few minutes, relaxing in the warmth and carefree feelings I was getting. Logic told me I should be cautious of my situation, but mentally, I just couldn't give a shit.

"Will you kill me like this?" I asked figuring if he was just going to do it anyway, might as well do it while i'm on some type of sedative.

"Beg your pardon?" He asked and I could detect a bit of quiet humor. "Why on this earth would I do something like that?" I blinked.

"I used the sigil thing." I explained like it was obvious, and it really was. In all honesty though, I was hoping, since he somewhat found interest in me, he'd spare me the crap an just kill me while I was sleeping, but hey, being high works too.

"Ah, yes." He drawled out the 'yes' giving me the impression that he was meaning to talk about this. "The banishing sigil, now where did you learn to create something like that?"

"T.V." I answered simply, feeling way too lazy to explain my story. "So aren't you pissed?"

"No, its understandable that you would go and pull something like that, you were frightened, I was just amazed you knew under what circumstances to use it. Not a lot of people understand that i'm actually an archangel, and not just the devil."

"So you're not going to kill me?" I asked again, _slightly_ irritated that he gave extremely long answers.

"No, Lynne. You're safe from harm." I decided I was tired of talking and went back to enjoying myself. I was quickly on the verge of falling back asleep but my headache persisted. I sighed.

"Why are you being such a pervert, holding me like this?" I thought if my mild discomfort would keep me awake, I might as well get some more of my questions answered.

"Your calling me perverted after what happened to you last night?" He asked and I suddenly felt raw anger, embarrassment and sorrow fill me at an alarming pace. I gasped sharply at these new, raw memories and tried to scramble away from Lucifer, only to be quickly but gently placed back at the original position I woke up in. He again started moving one hand through my hair in comforting motions while the other rubbed my back soothingly. I instantly relaxed and marveled at how strange that experience was, and how relieved I was for it to be over.

"I apologize." He said after a few moments. "I wasn't paying attention to what I was conveying."

I remained quiet for a bit longer, half because I didn't want to trigger another attack like that and half because I was afraid small, embarrassing, happy noises would escape my lips from how much his apparent ministrations were affecting me. Yeah, I know its fucked up, and if I was in any other right state of mind, i'd be running for the hills, but right now, I just can't bring myself to care.

"What are you doing to me?" I asked quietly staring at his right wing and vaguely wondering how it seemed to avoid knocking into anything.

"Im sorting through your conscious, subconscious and unconscious, while placing the events of the past couple of weeks in the correct places in order for you not to have a complete psychological attack."

"That sounds dangerous." I commented.

"Well, if you don't know what your doing, you could accidently force the patient into reliving an unpleasant experience." He explained.

"Like what just happened?" I asked.

"Correct."

"So you don't know what you're doing?"

"You distracted me from my work." He defended.

"I don't feel safe but at the same time I don't feel scared, I feel like I should be worried about this but i'm not and that kind of makes me even more not-really worried." I informed him.

"I temporarily cut off your negative emotions so I could work through your mind without your obstructive mental walls."

"Really? Is that what it is? Because it feels like im on _sooo_ many drugs." I really wanted to touch that wing.

"Why don't you take another nap?" He suggested.

"I can't, im dehydrated and I'll die." I explained. Without missing a beat, the hand behind me moved to reveal a glass of water. I gladly accepted and drank the whole thing then placed it on the floor before moving back into my source of comfort.

"Better?" he asked as he went back to his ministrations,

"Yeah," I replied, knowing my headache will leave me within the next fifteen minutes. "Hey, What's the alternative to you sorting through my mind?" I asked curiously.

"You would have a mental breakdown as your ego struggles through the information and painful events while trying to transcript them into memories," He started. "But even if this is the 'natural' way for humans to deal with traumatic events, it still proves unreliable due to how quickly the breakdown occurs and how much information needs to to be processed and placed, so its common that when one goes through it, they'll misplace the information and cause further psychological problems."

I nodded "So basically you're kinda helping my mind out?"

"Correct."

"How long does it usually take?"

"Well, I began fourteen hours ago when I stopped your premature psychological attack, and you have a very bad habit of just tossing your problems everywhere, so I had to clean that up as well. You're looking at another couple of hours." I raised a brow.

"That long?"

"Unfortunately, even though this is the best solution, i'm afraid it takes a bit of time." He told me.

"What do I do till then?" I asked. Secretly, I couldn't care less if he wanted me to remain stationary for the rest of the month, this was like laying in from of the heater on a cold winter day, but better.

"Relax, take a nap now that you are hydrated. I can always put you out if you'd like." He offered. I shook out my head, not wanting anymore rest.

"Can you move that?" I asked suddenly, surprising even myself. He followed my gaze to his right wing, and responded to my question by raising it. It was a grand-like gesture that made me feel extremely small as it fully expanded. I mean, holy shit! They had to be at least twice the size of him, ranging around twelve feet. My eyebrows came together in slight confusion.

"No, closer." I clarified. "To me." The air was filled with a soft 'swoosh_' _as_ both_ wings came around me to create this cozy blanket-fort like structure. I gasped delight and immediately went to touch them. They were soft, like motherfuckin kittens and shit, but you could tell that they could do serious damage if you were hit with one by accident. Underneath they were hard and strong. I molested, I mean groped, I mean, uh, felt upwards until I reached a structure that resembled bone. I traced along it for awhile, completely mesmerized by this whole situation. I felt at the same time heard his sigh.

This lasted for I don't know how long, and again, I soon fall back asleep.

**_No, fuck no, hell fucking no._**

Those were the pleasant thoughts that ran through my head as I woke up in what appeared to be a bedroom. It was incredibly dark, but my eyes adjusted and I could make out a drawer, a desk and a chair along with a few other furniture items that make up a normal bedroom. multiple, thick blankets were wrapped around me as I fought to get out of bed.

I remembered everything from earlier. Lucifer, the high, the memories that were still painful, but bearable, as if they'd happened years ago. I guess he really did know what he was doing.

'Well' I thought bitterly. 'At least you know he won't kill you.' But how do I really know that? I've seen enough Hallucifer to know that he wouldn't hesitate to play mind games and shit like this and allow me to trust him only to turn and kill me. But then again, this isn't Hallucifer, it's just regular Lucifer. One thing if anything I learned from Tumblr, is the fact that ironically, the only Angel who's not an asshole ended up being Lucifer. But this isn't a fandom, or even just a T.V. show, this is my sick and twisted life now, and headcannons, as believable as they sound, don't necessarily mean anything here.

I manage to free myself from the covers, but to my displeasure and totally reasonable worry, the bed creaked loudly, probably due to old springs, and as I quickly tried to get off he bed to avoid anymore unnecessary noises that could potentially alert people/demons/arch-fucking-angels that im awake, I made contact with the floor hard and it created a loud 'thump' sound. I cringed.

I froze for a quick moment and my eyes shot to the door, half expecting to see someone barge through the door with a machete. To my releif, the room settled back down into quiet and I tiptoed my way to the door, thankful that the floor was practically creak-free. I slowly opened the door and peered out. It was just as dark in the hall, but there was a window that gave off a bit of light from an outside streetlight. I gained three bits of important info; It was nighttime, so I slept the entire day and then some, I was on the second floor, and I was in some kind of neighborhood.

I stare out the window as I think about what I should do next. I could go downstairs, and face whats down there, but number one; im not that adventurous, and number two; go downstairs and do what? Try to escape? Like that's ever going to happen. I also have the option of going back into the bedroom. I could barricade the door with furniture, but it would make too much noise and these people/demons/arch-fucking-angels would have no problem getting in. I sighed.

What the hell does Lucifer want me to do anyways? He kidnaps me, saving me twice, but nonetheless kidnaps me, drugged me with his archangel super powers, then allows me to wake up alone, in a room with no supervision. Last time something like this happened to me, I smoked what was apparently _not_ weed with a couple of my roommates scummy friends and woke up in an upstairs apartment above a 7/11 in the next town over. And you know what I fuckin did? I called Amanda and had her come pick me up because no stupid crappy Archangel guy was holding me hostage!

Holy shit, how am I even going to survive without Amanda?

Then a split-second idea popped up. I could jump out the window. There's literally no worse case scenario, I mean I either get caught, make it to someones house and have them call the cops and then get caught anyways, or I break a leg. It's original and there's nothing stopping me. Maybe nobody would suspect this so it would give me a head-start. Hell, even if I manage to seriously injure myself it's still better than me just sitting here and do nothing, totally worth it.

I start to open the window and cold air hits me. It's damp so it's probably been raining. Pushing out the screening, I watch as it falls to the ground. I start to get nervous as I realize just how high off the ground I am. Well, here goes absolutely nothing. I manage to get my upper body out the window, meaning to position myself on the outer ledge before I feel an arm around my waist.

I didn't scream, screaming is for weak, pathetic teenage girls who are afraid of the dark. I shouted out in mild surprise, there's a difference. I get roughly jerked backwards to meet with the body. I twist around to see and you guessed it; My new best friend Lucy, and who looks a little less then impressed with a darkish shadow on his face mixing with what I assume to be 'pissed off' wing positions.

"What were you about to do?" He asked in a dangerously quiet manner that's more scary than screaming full blast. I immediately get hit with a wave of fearful regret.

"What do you mean?" I asked, smiling nervously with my heart pumping a mile a minute. "I was uh, just getting some air."


End file.
